So if you’re reading this you must be really interested in the British. That’s why I am going to tell you don’ts and do’s for visitors.
While Britain is not the kindest place, it certainly is one of the most breathtaking places in the world. You will like this place — it’s one of those places you have to visit to find out if it’s really good or not.
You can’t just read the reviews and be like “hell no, I am not going to the UK.” It’s like you have to experience it and see if it’s not good or not.
So let’s get started. First I will tell you things you shouldn’t do.
Never stand on the left side of an escalator
I experienced this in real life. One time, I was standing on the left side of an escalator in a busy mall, completely unaware that the left side is meant for people who want to walk up faster.
As I stood there — on a huge escalator no less — I suddenly heard someone from behind shout, “Hey, you! Can you move to your right, please?” with his elegant English accent.
I turned around and saw a long line of people staring at me, clearly frustrated. I was so embarrassed!
If you don’t want this to happen to you, then never stand on the left side of an escalator when you’re in Britain.
Don’t imitate the accent
I grew up in London. I moved there when I was 6 or 7 — I can’t remember properly. And so yeah, I have a Cockney accent.
When I went to schools in Manchester, I met people with different accents. There were people from Birmingham, lots of places.
But Birmingham was the funniest one. I remember having an English teacher — she was from Birmingham. I couldn’t take her seriously.
I was kicked out of that school because I couldn’t take the teacher’s accent seriously. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t control my laugh.
So never make fun of British accent.
Don’t assume everyone drinks tea
If you think everyone drinks tea in the UK, you’re wrong. Some people drink coffee too, and some people might not even like tea.
Like one of my pure English neighbours — he’s like pure white English person. His wife’s British, he’s British, everyone in his family is British.
And let me tell you something: they do not like tea. One time they invited me to dinner and I said a lame joke about tea — sorry, I can’t tell you the joke otherwise I will be cringed out.
So after I said the joke, no one laughed. Only the dad did. But at the end he gave me a death stare and said, “We don’t drink tea.”
Really. Yeah, that’s the story.
Don’t expect perfect weather
Whatever you do when you’re in England, always check the weather. The weather app is going to be the most used app when you’re in the UK.
The UK weather is actually unpredictable. Sometimes even the weather app doesn’t tell you the truth.
OK, so I am going to make a joke about the UK’s weather. You tell me if I am funny or not or I should shut the flip up.
OK, so here’s the joke:
Why did the British tourist bring the tea bag to the beach?
Because he expected the sea to be boiling one minute and freezing the next.
Yeah, I should work on my jokes.
Anyways, there was this one time I experienced all the seasons in a day. In the morning it was sunny. I thought it was going to be a beautiful day.
After I finished my tea, it was raining. And in the evening, it was snowing. I am not joking — I swear.
So weather is not your friend in the UK — especially the rain.
Don’t forget to say please and thank you
Manners are extremely important in Britain, even though people aren’t always the kindest.
It’s not that they’re genuinely unkind — they do try! You’ll often hear Brits saying things like “Cheers, mate!” or something similar.
In fact, “Cheers, mate!” is probably the most popular phrase. Buy a snack from a corner shop? Say it.
Someone holds the door for you? Say it. Accidentally make eye contact with a stranger? Maybe say it.
It really helps, trust me. Even if they don’t mean to be nice, as long as you play along with the politeness, you’ll fit right in!
Just don’t try too hard.
Don’t think all British people know the royal family personally
Some British people really care about the royal family and some people don’t.
One time I was shopping in Asda and someone heard the Queen just died, and she was crying so loudly. Every security came up to her and started crying with her too — I am not joking.
The security guards were like, “What happened? Why are you crying?” and she was like, “Haven’t you heard? The Queen just died!”
The security guard shouted, “What! Really?” She checked her phone and she started crying with her.
And another story: my friend, he is pure British — he couldn’t care less. I told him the Queen died, “Aren’t you sad?” He was like, “Nah bro, just can’t wait for the holidays.”
When I was a little kid, there was a rumour that when the Queen dies, there will be a 2-week holiday. So yeah.
Don’t just say “tea” without being specific
British people have different times for tea — afternoon tea, evening tea… basically, a lot of tea.
The most important one is afternoon tea, but I don’t get it. Who drinks hot tea in the middle of the afternoon?
What if it’s sunny? Do they just sit there, sweating, pretending it’s normal?
But hey, it is what it is. One thing I do understand — tea with biscuits is elite.
Dunking a biscuit makes it taste ten times better. Just don’t leave it in too long, or you’ll be fishing out soggy crumbs like a rookie.
British people really take tea seriously.
Final Thoughts
If you’re wondering after reading all this — no, you don’t have to follow every single rule.
Just be yourself, be kind, and people will be kind back. But listen, there are a few things you absolutely must take seriously.
First, the escalator rule. I swear, ladies and gentlemen — do not stand on the left side of an escalator in Britain. My experience was bad, but yours could be worse.
If you value your dignity, stand on the right and avoid the death stares.
Second, tea. You do not mess with tea in Britain. It’s not just a drink — it’s a national treasure.
People here have designated tea times. Afternoon tea, evening tea, tea when it’s sunny, tea when it’s raining (which is always).
Matter of fact, as soon as you land, buy a packet of tea at the airport — nah, just kidding (kind of).
All jokes aside, Britain isn’t a bad place. It’s got history, good pubs, and people who will apologise even when you bump into them.
Is it the best place in the world? Probably not. But is it worth visiting? Absolutely.
Just remember: queues, escalators, and tea. Respect them, and you’ll be fine.